Tuesday, December 30, 2014

The Quick Red Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Curmudgeon Doug

12/30/2014 12:04
The quick red fox jumps over the lazy brown dog. Why? Because he has to. The dog is laying in the middle of the path down which the fox was wont to go. This is just as practical as answering the question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Because it wanted to do so. It had a  need. Chicken feed was on sale on the opposite side of the road. Sadly, for the chicken, it was a ruse to tempt chickens to cross so they might end up as road kill dinners for the homeless group that was feigning the sale of cheaper feed.
Why type such a simplistic sentence as "the quick red fox jumps over the lazy brown dog"? Because it causes the typist to use every letter of our twenty-six-letter alphabet. This is good practice for finger memory and allows the diligent typist to increase their ability to type with greater accuracy and increased speed. Those of us who do type desire greater accuracy and we wish to be able to type as fast as we can think or dream.
Writers are dreamers, visionaries who are compelled to share their insight, humor, dreams and visions with others through the medium of the written word. Writers paint pictures in the minds of their readers. The wonder of this is because once a painter has painted their work of art it is static in terms of interpretation. Now, I am not speaking of abstract art, but of the more formal displays where an artist interprets a scene, a building, or a piece of fruit and shares this perspective with the world. The beauty of painting pictures within the minds of a reader is that each individual reader will take the words written and paint the scene or building or fruit into an image unique to them and their perspective. This is why fictional characters or even those of ancient times where we have few if any pictures are illustrated so vastly different depending upon the artist. More so the visionary impressions within the mind of those who read such stories about these characters.
I find that seeking to paint images within the minds of my readers is quite rewarding and worth the effort to do so. I seek to craft entertainment or education with the greatest respect for my audience. If someone is going to sacrifice precious moments of their life for my sake, I wish to make that sacrifice as pleasant an outing as I am able to craft.
It is my wish for this upcoming year that writers everywhere find their respective audiences and that their audiences respect them as authors.
That said, God bless you all and Happy New Year 2015!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Snippet 01-09-2014

It reminds me of the time I went to visit an elderly relative in an old folks home. There was this guy who I was told suffered from dementia who the first time I met him walked up and sprayed in the face with a cold water misting bottle, the kind used for tending houseplants. When I asked him what in the hell he was doing he simply replied, "My job. I work for the Misting Peoples Bureau." And, then I swore he winked and pranced of singing to himself some offbeat ditty.

When I complained to one of the attendants, I was told that he was harmless enough and was here because he was a nuts. My gut told me the old geezer was a scammer and must've had no family to take care of him so he was living off the state's nickel, much like being in the pen but with lesser restrictions and better food.

I made a note to myself to watch the old guy and when he headed for the can I was going to follow him planning on pissing on his leg while he was filling up his water bottle. When he asks what in the hell I'm doing I'm gonna tell him that I work for the Humane Society and was sent to test out a theory on how well old dementia patients like him would respond to elderly dogs treating them like trees or fireplugs.